Hello 2022

2021 was a tough one for a lot of people, me included. From covid to all the changes around the world, nothing helped the global mental health crisis. Yes, we've closed a chapter but the past is still holding on to us, or maybe we're still holding on to it... I spent New Years Eve and day at the hospital, we didn't do anything special so I still feel like I'm in 2021. Actually, I feel stuck in August. That's when I was first admitted to a mental hospital.

The first part of the year I was just running around, filling up my schedule to ignore I was feeling worse and worse by the day. I was doing really well in school but I was running towards a burnout. Actually I had been really depressed for over three years and was just adding on stuff to deny it. When there's too much pressure on something, at some point it has to explode. That's what happened to me in the summer of 2021. Then everything just froze. And my past caught up on me. Every bit of depression and pain I had pushed aside just came right up and I felt like I couldn't move anymore. I'm still stuck as I write this from the hospital.

This year was all about accepting what was happening to us; because we had no choice. I mean the covid rules and everything were forced into place and we had no choice but to accept them. So the universe decided that we had to face everything else at the same time. Dealing with our shadows and demons got real. It was and still is rough. Yes, it's a new year but it actually doesn't matter. You don't need a new year to start making changes. Though it can push and help you to.

With that we need to address the New Years's resolutions bullshit. People make lists of things and never achieve them; it's just dumb. You can't change or create so many habits at the same time. You will be overwhelmed. Though it is a good idea to change things up as a new year starts, don't get carried away. Try one thing only. Personally my goal is to stop drinking; I actually started last Wednesday. And if you're not ready to achieve anything right now, just start later; who the fuck cares? Turning over a new leaf can be whenever you want. Just start when you're feeling confident and are 100% committed. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for failure and then you'll regret it, put too much pressure on yourself and feel shame for not achieving your goal. It's just setting a time bomb to explode later on.

That said, I hope you can achieve one thing this year, even the tiniest thing should be celebrated! Thank you for reading. See you in my next blog!